Unsatisfied

This morning I woke up just wanting to feel pretty today. Don't get me wrong, I do try to look attractive. But something about today (maybe I was just being super emotional?) made me wanting to feel beautiful.

So what do I do when I want to look beautiful? Well, I put on nice clothes, maybe a dress and some cute shoes. I do more than a fifteen minute job on my hair and spend time trying to get every strand perfect. But most of all, I do my best to hide my flaws. I found a dress that would do a good job in disguising the freshman fifteen I've put on during the last two years. But more than that, I spent about forty minutes doing my makeup. Just for fun, I even took before/after pictures. Care to see?

I realize that as a young woman, I'm always trying to hide my flaws. It's not just when it comes to my personal appearance-it's also in the way I act, too. I try to act like it doesn't bug me when all of my friends from high school are engaged and I'm listening to "Just Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble for the thousandth time to make me feel better about being all alone. I try to convince myself that I'm content with my body and my appearance and that I never get jealous of my beautiful best friend who attracts the attention of every guy in existence. I try not to let the facts that I'm incredibly uncoordinated, naive and that it seems like I'll always just be a "little sister" to guys get to me, but I can't ignore it any more. I hide the fact that some nights I just wish I could be someone else. Why do I always try to hide my flaws? I want to be pretty, inside and out.

I'll admit that today I did feel pretty, and it was definitely a confidence booster. But it still left me in the same place-unsatisfied. Being beautiful will never satisfy me. Even though I can't wait until I meet the right person, if I can't be content being single then I will never be content in marriage. Something tells me that even if I were to erase all of my flaws, I'd still feel empty. Why? Beauty is fleeting. Husbands will let you down. And no one is perfect, no, not one.

I find my satisfaction in God. I feel at peace when I'm casting all of my cares upon His scarred hands. I feel hopeful when I realize that God is the provider of all things good, and if I wait on Him and be courageous He'll provide when the time is right. But when I see Jesus Christ nailed upon Calvary, where His poured out to wash me whiter than snow, that is when I feel beautiful. For Christ, the Maker of the Earth, loved me enough to die for me. He removed my sins and washed me white as snow. He says that I am valuable. And for that reason, I am beautiful. All other things will leave me unsatisfied.