Jesus of Tallahassee: A Modern Retelling of the Nativity Story Part 3

Mary rolled her head out of the window of Joe's pickup truck and stared in awe at the traffic on I-10. It was backed up crazily! Who knew so many people had been born in the Jacksonville area and were rushing to get registered just like they were?

"Hi, I'm Mary Baer on the Channel 4 News for Radio. Thousands of Floridians are breaking records for having the highest numbers of travelers on I-10 in history! With an estimated 3 million citizens trying to go to Duval, Clay, Baker, Nassau, and St. Johns counties to register for Governor Rick Scott's mandated birth census that will occur tomorrow, December 24, traveling on the interstate is nearly impossible."

"You're not kidding me," Joe grinned. "Six hours since we stopped for a potty break in Madison County and we have gone 30 miles!"

"But," Mary interjected, "nothing is impossible with God."

The couple looked at each other and smiled.

"We're gonna make it to Macclenny," Joe said. "Baker County here we come!"
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"Macclenny sure is an interesting little town," Mary whispered to Joe in the Baker County Courthouse. They had finally made it and were now registering. "You have one Wal-Mart, one high school,  one McDonald's that EVERYONE and their brother goes to, but like 30 million gas stations that advertise fishing bait and gator tail. Oh, and everyone in Macclenny dresses the same-you guys all wear camo!!!"

"It's hunting season!" Joe loudly cried to his hometown's defense.

"Sho' is, youn' mahhnn. Little Johnny just catched his first buck last nigh'! And I has some pictures on my phoh-nuh. Look!" The fat man in front turned around to show Mary pictures of a dead deer. Mary felt like throwing up. She felt sharp pains running through her pregnant belly.

"And I thought YOU had a Southern accent," Mary texted to Joe so the man wouldn't hear. They started giggling when he read the text aloud. But when Mary started to snicker, she felt those sharp pains again. They were like cramps she'd get on her period, but much stronger.

Mary stopped snickering.

Those were mild labor pains. Baby Jesus was on his way.
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"Finally! That's over with!" Joe cried after they had registered. "Do you want to stop for McDonald's and then maybe try to find a place to spend the night?"

Mary sighed. She hadn't told Joseph anything while they were in the line, but now she needed to say someting.

"I think I'm starting to go into labor, Joe. Where's the hospital in Macclenny?"
"Fraser's. Let's go," he said, and Joe raced them through the Macclenny traffic as quickly as he could. But when he arrived, there was a sign on the itty bitty hospital:

"Closed for the birth census registration."

Joe sighed. "Okay, plan B. Let's see if we can get a room at Travelodge, American Inn or the Econolodge." They tried each hotel but all of the places were full. Everyone was in Macclenny for the birth census.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I just didn't think that we'd have to spend the night since Tallahassee is only usually a two hour drive to here so I didn't make hotel reservations." Joe sank into the couch at the Econolodge lobby.
"It's okay, but Joe, Jesus is coming. I am really starting to hurt right now. It's coming in waves, every other minute. Can't you call an ambulance and I go to a Jacksonville hospital?"

"Mary, I could, but the roads are so busy that I don't know how long it'd take even for an ambulance to get here. Our best bet is to find somewhere for you to be comfortable and for you to just give birth."

"But Joe! What if something goes wrong and Jesus comes out the wrong way? We can't do a C-section. I could die!"
"God has taken us this far. He will still provide now." Joe kissed her on the cheek. "Just trust Him." At that moment the man who worked at the front desk called Joe and Mary over.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," the man said in his thick accent. "Here's my address. You can spend the night in my barn, free of charge. I'd let you stay in my house but it's already full with the others."

"Thank you," Joe whispered. He looked at Mary.
Mary screamed in labor pain. It looked like God was about to be with them.
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 "2345 Hillside Drive. 2345 Hillside Drive. The Brannens. Here." Joe bust open the truck door and carried Mary outside to the barn. She was sobbing in pain.

"My water broke. My water broke. Ohhhhhhhhh...."

The men outside smoking cigarettes turned to Joe. "Is she in labor?" he asked. Joe nodded. "I'll go get my wife. She's a nurse and she's sleeping inside."

"Thank you!" Joe cried. "We'll be in the barn."

Mary yelped.

"Shhhhhh...." Joe whispered.

"YOU REALIZE THAT I'M A VIRGIN SO THIS HURTS TWICE AS MUCH?!?" Mary screamed. Um okay. Joe was not messing with the pregnant lady again. He put her down gently in the hay and took off her clothes so the baby could come out. The women who were inside of the house ran outside to the barn to help Joe with delivery.

After two hours, Joe held his son in his arms. He took a picture of Mary and Jesus together with his phone. It was so beautiful. Looking towards the sky, he saw a great light and heard majestic voices singing. Angels. People started freaking out at the sight of them, then trembling in awe. That was all too familiar for Joe and Mary's family, huh? But Mary was no longer baffled by angels. For she had the Son of God in her arms.

"Immanuel," Mary whispered, looking into Jesus' eyes. "God is with us. At last."
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                                                                                EPILOGUE

"Check this out. The Brannens mailed us a copy of the Baker County Press. And Jesus' birth announcement made the first page." Joe threw a copy of the paper at Mary who was holding their son.

Mary chuckled and held her milk bottle. "I'm feeding Jesus, silly. But go ahead and read it to me."

"It's titled, 'Immanuel?' It says, 'A young married couple simply known as Mary and Joe gave birth to the first barn-born baby in Macclenny in years since Fraser Hospital came about in 1967. A series of strange events surround this baby's birth. Witnesses say that the couple was denied room at all of the hotels in Baker after arriving in Macclenny for the birth census, but local hotel owner Steve Brannen allowed them to join other denied guests at his farm, where the mother gave birth. Other citizens are claiming that they saw angels singing, especially the farmers at Old Nursery Plantation working the night shift. These individuals have been given a drug test, which they have passed. Meanwhile, R.N. Tiffany Griffis made the most unusual claim of the night: 'The mother of that barn-born baby was a virgin.' Nurse Griffis says that she helped birth the baby that night.....' yeah, you get the rest."

"It sounds so crazy, but to think it's all true," Mary stated.

"Then know that this is true," Liz walked in the living room and flipped on the tv to CNN.

"Philosphers in Jordan have claimed to see a star that will lead them to a majestic king who will bring them to the savior of the world. Where does NASA predict this star will lead them to? Tallahassee, FL."

Mary smiled. "I think with our little Jesus of Tallahassee, we will never cease to be amazed."

                                                                    The End

Jesus of Tallahassee: A Modern Retelling of the Nativity Story Part Two

Liz couldn't believe that Mary had called her all of a sudden. She thought that she had been forgotten by that family. But Liz patted her pregnant stomach that was full of divine miracle. Just then she heard a knock outside of her door. There stood Mary. Her heart-shaped face and curly black hair remained the same, but her eyes were full of the Spirit and her expression was full of fear.

The baby leaped inside of her at the sight of Jesus' mother. Then Liz knew. Mary didn't have to say a word. She was pregnant, and the baby she carried would pay the ransom of many. He was the one who would set things right, the one the prophets talked about who would save the world from their sins.

"Mary. You are the most blessed of women, and your child will be most blessed!" At that Mary started crying.

"You know?" she whispered. Liz nodded.

"I know," she said. "God has told me just by seeing you. And little John knows, too," she said, pointing at her belly. Mary smiled and put her hand on Liz's stomach to feel John kick. But he didn't kick. He leaped instead.

"Mary, little Jesus will be the Messiah. You know that 'Jesus' comes from 'Joshua,' which means, 'He who saves'?" Mary shook her head. Liz continued. "I can't believe you're here. You are the mommy of my Lord. This is such a blessing. And don't you give me that confused look, because John started leaping for joy when you came in! Believe this, Mary, that God will do what He has promised you. Do you believe now?"

"I believe," Mary said crying. "The Lord is great, so great. People are going to call me blessed because of this baby I have inside of me. I didn't believe it at first, that God would use a pregnant teenager. But He provides. And I'm ready, now that God is with us. Immanuel."
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Before she spoke with Liz, Mary may have feared this moment. Her parents had invited Joe over for pizza and a movie (they were going to watch Finding Nemo), and it was time to tell them that she was pregnant. But she felt the tiny bump in her stomach, and knew that God was with her.

Her father looked up from his Coke and smiled. "Mary, you seem quiet. What's up with you?"

Mary sighed. Her mother looked at her with concern.

"Did....Cousin Liz tell you she was pregnant?" Her parents nodded.

"She told us yesterday! Such a miracle from Yahweh, such a miracle indeed. And Zech says he's supposed to be a prophet of some sort...I wouldn't believe that if Liz wouldn't be a 55-year old pregnant woman. God is the mastermind behind this." Her father looked intense.

"Know that God is the mastermind behind this, too. Mom, Dad, Joe...an angel came to me named Gabriel a few weeks ago. I know that this sounds crazy, but I'm pregnant. And I haven't had sex...I'm still a virgin. Please, please believe me. My son, Jesus, will be the one that sets us free."

There was an uncomfortable silence.
Joe stood up and walked away.
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"And it's you and me,
And all of the people-"

Joe hit "ignore" on his phone for the fifth time that night. Mary had kept trying to call him all night. He did not want to talk to that whore right now.

Most people in arranged marriages weren't too thrilled about them. Somehow he always got the sense that Mary wasn't too excited about marrying him one day, either. But that wasn't how he had felt at all. He was in love with her-her beauty, her love of people, and her willingness to serve Yahweh.

But he had been so wrong to love her. So terribly wrong. Tomorrow he would call off the marriage and start searching for a new wife. His parents would understand. Meanwhile it was time to go to bed and end this miserable day.

"Joseph....." A majestic voice echoed throughout his bedroom. A bright light captivated his eyes.

"Joseph...." the voice continued again. What did it want? Could this be what Mary had heard?

"Y-y-yes?"

"Don't be afraid to marry Mary. She really has been empreganated by the Holy Spirit and not by some other man. She's having a baby boy, and you're supposed to name him Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins."

Then the voice disappeared as suddenly as it had entered. Joe knew immediately what he had to do.

"Hello?" Mary answered his call, barely audible. He could tell she had been crying.

"Mary, will you marry me?"
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"Birth census? This is ridiculous! Rick Scott wants to take a dumb survey of how many people were born in each Florida town so he can prove to California that there are more people born in Florida than in California?! And they aren't even counting women-just the man of the household! He is DUMB and SEXIST!" Joe and Mary had been watching the news with Mary's parents and had heard Governor Scott's announcement. Mary hadn't taken it too well...

"Well, it looks like people born in the Jacksonville area have to register on December 24. Oh, and Mary baby...they are still counting women. But they just register wherever their husband was born."

"Well if we get married in June then it looks like you and I will be going to Macclenny to register together as a family," Mary smiled. She was in love with Joe and was incredibly happy that the Lord had spoken to him. He understood her situation.

"And Tampa area people have to register December 17," Mary's father mentioned. Mary's parents had accepted Mary's pregnancy as divine after watching Liz give birth to baby John. They knew that if God had made a 55-year old barren woman pregnant, then maybe Mary wasn't crazy. God was with them.
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Joe collapsed on the couch and sighed after a long day at work on the construction site where he was a carpenter, but then looked at the beautiful picture of he and his bride on their wedding day. It had been six months since he had married his beautiful wife and he had never been happier.

Because most people wouldn't believe that Mary was a pregnant virgin, Mary was taking dual enrollment classes at Tallahassee Community College instead of going to Leon High her senior year to avoid ridicule. They still had to face the scorn from the Jewish community, who couldn't believe that Mary was a virgin. In order to prove that Jesus was born of a virgin, Mary and Joe had decided not to have sex for the first time until after Jesus was born. Joe couldn't wait. Mary was so beautiful.

Mary marched in, exhausted after a day of classes. She looked angry. Her crazy pregnant woman hormones were coming out.

"Joe. When are we leaving to do that stupid census thing in Macclenny?"

"We have to do it the 24."

"JOE! This is bad!!!"

"Why?"

"The doctor said that I'm due on December 24! We had better be 10 minutes within a hospital, that's all I'm saying. And I have a craving for nachos. You should REALLY buy me Taco Bell!" Mary smiled at her husband.

Joe sighed. Pregnant women. He couldn't wait until God was with them and out of Mary's belly.
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Jesus of Tallahassee: A Modern Day Telling of the Nativity Part One

“Mary! I love your ring!” cried Kelsey, Mary’s classmate and study buddy. They were stuck in English class, with Miss Eddy droning on and on about MLA citation. Gah she couldn’t wait to go home already and take a nap!

“Thanks!” Mary happily replied, although she didn’t know what was so pretty about her plain silver True Love Waits ring.

“What does it say? Oh…true love waits,” Kelsey said with a look of disgust in her eyes. It wasn’t cool to be a virgin in Leon County High School, nor to advertise it with a purity ring.

Most things about Mary wouldn’t even be considered cool at LCHS. She was a Jew, for one, and if she didn’t stand out enough with her big nose, the fact that she couldn’t eat pork, and that she always wore a Star of David to remind her of the Tanah, she always was facing prejudices. Mary was one of the handful of Jews that believed that Yahweh even existed, and one of the few remaining ones that still had hope that the Messiah would come one day to save the world from their sins.  She was a 17-year old woman of virtue and dignity, which earned her the “goody two-shoes” title of the school.  But somehow people still liked Mary. She was always happy and kind to others. With her outgoing and friendly personality, she made everyone feel at home instantly. The women in the synagogue praised her for her obedience to Yahweh and the young girls admired her. Mary was loved by all.

Suddenly the bell rang. Freedom!!! It was time to go home at last.

Liz cooked steaks at home in the kitchen, wiping back tears as she looked at the empty bedrooms in her home. When she and her husband Zech had gotten married thirty years ago, he had looked her in the eyes and promised to bring her as many kids as she wanted. As a stay at home wife, that was all Liz wanted. Kids. So when it came time to buy a house, they bought one with five bedrooms. But now it looked like no blessings from heaven would inhabit them. Heck, she was fifty. It would never happen, not ever.

“You have ovarian cancer.” Four words had ruined everything twenty years ago, yet four words also explained the deaths of the three miscarried infants. The first time Liz had lost a pair of boy and girl twins, the second time it was a little boy. The doctors ran every test they could think of, and then finally the brought the terrible news. At least they had caught the cancer early enough so that it was treatable. But the bad news was that her ovaries were so damaged that it was impossible for her to ever have kids. Liz hated herself for having such a messed up body, she hated life and its cruelty, but most of all she hated Yahweh, the Creator of life, for putting such pain and misery in her life. She was a Jew, for crying out loud, and if she was supposed to be part of His chosen people, she certainly didn’t feel any different. Her family didn’t think so; they thought that God was punishing her for something because she didn’t have kids and as a result they had ignored her completely. She took out her anger on the piece of steak in front of her. Liz started stabbing it, and to her horror, started laughing aloud bitterly about getting to torture something else instead of herself. Ha!

But then Zech walked in from work. She expected to hear some wise crack about her strange laughter, but instead she heard silence.

“What’s up with you?” Liz asked.  His eyes were squinty and red, as if he’d seen a great light. She waited for him to explain. But instead of him talking, she heard a strange gargling noise from his throat. “What on earth is the matter with you?” Zech shook his head, ran and got paper and a pen, and scribbled a note to Liz. It said:

“An angel came to me today. He says you are pregnant. I laughed at him and told him he was crazy, so he made me mute for a reaaally long time. Please believe me.”

Liz started crying again. She never imagined it’d come down to this. Her husband was on drugs. Maybe her family really did have reason to hate her.

Mary sighed as she collapsed on the couch and tried to find a channel that wasn’t talking about Will and Kate’s stupid royal wedding. They got married. Who cares? Plus, the freedom of marrying whoever you wanted was something she’d never get to experience.

That was something she hated when she was younger about coming from a traditional Jewish family-her parents had picked out her husband for her before she was born, one who was from the tribe of Benjamin and who descended from King David-yipee. While her friends went on dates and giggled about boys and did other typical 17-year old girl things, she was stuck with Joe whether she liked it or not. There was no dating, no choice of boyfriend, just the engagement period at 18 where she’d wait for a year before marriage to prove that Joe hadn’t gotten her pregnant and the marriage period at age 19.

As she got older, her parents wanted her to get to know Joe more. Since she had been 12 they had been hanging out every Saturday night and Sunday once the Sabbath had ended. Joe’s family moved to Tallahassee from a small town about two hours away called Macclenny so that this could happen. He had been her date to the junior prom(her parents didn’t want her to miss out on traditional American things too much) and might even be her date for senior prom. Joe was a pretty nice guy.  He was gentle and incredibly wise. He was cute, with his curly brown hair and nice build. He wasn’t your stereotypical Jew though: he loved to hunt and build/fix things. He even had a Southern accent, coming from a little country town like Macclenny. (His Israeli immigrant parents didn’t have one though.) The only problem was that Joe was flat out broke. His family was pretty poor and they lived in a one bedroom trailer. Mary had no clue how she’d provide for her future family with the lack of financial support she’d have.

But she knew that Yahweh had a plan. God always did. And Yahweh also wanted her to be more productive with herself before the sun set and it was time to observe the Sabbath. Mary decided to go ahead and do her laundry. Grabbing her nasty clothes from her hamper, she quickly sorted them out and took them out to the creepy laundry room.

A light brighter than anything she had ever seen appeared.

“Rejoice, favored woman! Immanuel!” a majestic voice flowing from the light said.

Mary screamed.

A light brighter than anything he had ever seen had appeared before Zech that day. He blinked, trying to get the image away from his eyes, but it was impossible. He tried to force words to come from his mouth, but it couldn’t be done. He had been mute for six months now.

This was proof. He didn’t believe the messenger from God, and as punishment he couldn’t speak until the baby was to be born. The angel was right. Liz would have a kid, and that kid who he was supposed to name John would start to get people ready for the Messiah. John would be a father. The Messiah would come. Yahweh was not dead, nor did He sleep.

Liz came running in.

“I believe you,” she said, sobbing tears of joy. “I believe you. I’ve felt Zech Jr. kicking for the past two months now. I thought I was just sick. I never thought I was really pregnant. I know. I’m crazy. I’ve ignored this huge belly for the past few months now..I just said that I had gained weight from all of your delicious cooking,” Liz whispered. “But now I’m ready. I’m ready to believe. May all know that our God is the one, true God, that Yahweh is surely alive. Immanuel.”

For God was truly with them.

Mary stood, shaking. Thank goodness her parents weren’t home yet. She had a LOT to think about.

An ANGEL who said his name was Gabriel had come, for Pete’s sake!!! No one was going to believe her! Yahweh hadn’t spoken to anyone for 3,000 years! Why would He randomly talk to some 17-year old American Jew living in Tallahassee?

He said she was pregnant even though she’d never spread her legs and that God’s spirit would enter her! Um she’d sure have fun explaining THAT to her parents, her classmates, and most of all, to Joe. Why should they really believe her? How would they know she hadn’t just gotten high and saw things, and then had sex with some other guy? “You’ll become wild one day, dear virgin Mary,” the football players had always sneered at her. How were they to know that she was telling the truth?

Mary was supposed to have a little baby that she’d have to name Jesus? Jesus was a stupid name…what type of name was that, anyway?! And that baby would save the world? How would a stupid, rotten, smelly baby born from an unwed teenager save the world? Unwed, pregnant teenager. Wow. That was her.

Mary screamed. She was pregnant, not married, and her fiancé wasn’t even the father of the baby. Not to mention she wasn’t even 18 yet. She wanted to die.

“REALLLY, GOD?!?!?” God was crazy. Just crazy! Why would He make her go through all of this crap? Why her? What did she do to deserve this? She just tried to obey her parents and be nice. Why her?! And how the HECK was she supposed to tell Joe?

But there was something else that dear Gabe had told her. Her cousin, Elizabeth, or “Liz,” was pregnant. That was ridiculous. Liz had never been able to have kids, and because Mary’s parents thought that her lack of children was a punishment of God, they had lost most contact with her. But she still had Liz’s number. With shaking hands, she dialed it.

“Liz. Liz. It’s your cousin, Mary. I know we haven’t talked in forever….but I really need someone to talk to and I think that..you might could help me. You still live in Pebble Hill Apartments? Okay. I’m coming.”

Mary hopped on her bike and pedaled as fast as she could to her cousin Liz. If the angel was right and Liz really was prego, then she’d believe this whole thing about her being the virgin mother of a savior to the world. But only then.

And even that seemed unlikely.

Number on the Scale

If you are a girl and you are reading this, do you measure your beauty by your number on the scale?
Heh, I'm almost certain you said yes. I've come to the conclusion that all girls feet fat, no matter how much they weigh. By the way, if you are a guy and you are reading this, NEVER joke about a girl being fat or ugly. You might do that with your guy friends, but you don't realize how sensitive most girls are about these things. I know I am.

But yeah, I've always felt fat. The funny thing is that I've never been overweight. I've always been at a healthy weight for my height and everything, but there was always that pressure to be thin. We have it engraved in our minds that thin=beauty. I was one of those girls who had the whole formula memorized: 100 lbs for the first five feet and you can have about 5 lbs for every inch. At 5 foot, 5 inches, if I weighed ANYTHING over 125 lbs, it was time to lose weight.

I think that we need to chill out with this, because we will never be satisfied. When I was 17 I took ballet classes for 2 1/2 hours a week, went jogging for 3 hours a week, and practiced ballet for about an hour, too. I weighed 115 lbs...and I was still convinced that I was fat and counting those calories. Why did I do all of this? It was simple: I wanted to feel beautiful and I wanted to have a boyfriend, which would make me beautiful. Since being thin meant beautiful and beautiful meant having a boyfriend, I would go hungry just to have those things. The funny thing is that I didn't even go on my first date until a year and a half later when I had gained about 15-20 lbs....ironic, huh?

At the same time, I reaaaallly think we need to be healthier. In my case, I haven't been exercising on a regular basis in about two years! Since I started working part-time jobs and going to college, I've developed a bad fast food habit (Zaxby's is just too delicious gahhhhh) and have started eating late at night when I'm trying to study (nothing like coffee and cookies yum yum yum!). Also since I moved out in August I've been eating things that are easy to make..and easy to gain weight from...like grilled cheese sandwiches. As a result of all of these things, I'm definitely not the ballerina I used to be. I mean, I'm not overweight but I don't want to be, so it's time for a new, healthy lifestyle!

It's not about the numbers that you see on the scale, but how you take care of the body that you've been given by God. For example, today I ate pizza for breakfast/lunch, but then for dinner I ate broccoli and sweet potatoes with no butter or sugar to try to eat a balanced diet. I also did old ballet barre exercises for about an hour and felt GREAT afterword!

Never let being thin equal to being beautiful in your mind, because even if you do eat right and exercise you still may not be a stick and you still may have natural curves. Don't let your beauty come from the thrill you get when you see you're the thinnest girl in the room, because life-pregnancies, unpreventable changes in diet, age-HAPPEN. And never let your beauty be measured by your number on a scale, because girl, you are worth so much more than that.

Unsatisfied

This morning I woke up just wanting to feel pretty today. Don't get me wrong, I do try to look attractive. But something about today (maybe I was just being super emotional?) made me wanting to feel beautiful.

So what do I do when I want to look beautiful? Well, I put on nice clothes, maybe a dress and some cute shoes. I do more than a fifteen minute job on my hair and spend time trying to get every strand perfect. But most of all, I do my best to hide my flaws. I found a dress that would do a good job in disguising the freshman fifteen I've put on during the last two years. But more than that, I spent about forty minutes doing my makeup. Just for fun, I even took before/after pictures. Care to see?

I realize that as a young woman, I'm always trying to hide my flaws. It's not just when it comes to my personal appearance-it's also in the way I act, too. I try to act like it doesn't bug me when all of my friends from high school are engaged and I'm listening to "Just Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble for the thousandth time to make me feel better about being all alone. I try to convince myself that I'm content with my body and my appearance and that I never get jealous of my beautiful best friend who attracts the attention of every guy in existence. I try not to let the facts that I'm incredibly uncoordinated, naive and that it seems like I'll always just be a "little sister" to guys get to me, but I can't ignore it any more. I hide the fact that some nights I just wish I could be someone else. Why do I always try to hide my flaws? I want to be pretty, inside and out.

I'll admit that today I did feel pretty, and it was definitely a confidence booster. But it still left me in the same place-unsatisfied. Being beautiful will never satisfy me. Even though I can't wait until I meet the right person, if I can't be content being single then I will never be content in marriage. Something tells me that even if I were to erase all of my flaws, I'd still feel empty. Why? Beauty is fleeting. Husbands will let you down. And no one is perfect, no, not one.

I find my satisfaction in God. I feel at peace when I'm casting all of my cares upon His scarred hands. I feel hopeful when I realize that God is the provider of all things good, and if I wait on Him and be courageous He'll provide when the time is right. But when I see Jesus Christ nailed upon Calvary, where His poured out to wash me whiter than snow, that is when I feel beautiful. For Christ, the Maker of the Earth, loved me enough to die for me. He removed my sins and washed me white as snow. He says that I am valuable. And for that reason, I am beautiful. All other things will leave me unsatisfied.