No One Knows What We Are For, Only What We Are Against

My source of entertainment this Sunday night? It was counting how many "Support Duck Dynasty" posts I could find on Facebook. I counted, oh about 30 in the past several hours. All by Christian-identifiers. They all had phrases like "Stand up/with," "support," "freedom," "liberty," etc. 

Phil Robertson expressed his biblical views on same-sex marriage in a distasteful manner, but that's another sticky story. My underlying thought about my favorite Duck Commander and his fellow duck-haters is that well, we're debating a moral issue that isn't worth our time. We're not going to convince anyone here. Only Christ can. 

And you know, that initial thought rabbit trails me into something else: it seems like American Christians quack too much about what we cannot do or say to prevent us from sharing the Gospel and do way too less about the many, many things we CAN do that would share the message of the Cross more than any angry Twitter Tweet.

1. Why protest lack of school-led prayer in school? Write your child's teacher and administrators encouraging notes instead, thanking them for the unseen work they trudge through.

2. As a teacher, I can't say "Merry Christmas" at all-it's only "Happy Holidays"-but whatever. I think Christ's unofficial birthday would be best celebrated if I asked loved ones to donate to Compassion International in lieu of a Christmas present instead of whining about a phrase largely ignored anyway.

3. Last year's Chick-fil A Appreciation Day where those who lobbied for freedom of religious speech all bombarded CFA. What if we had all raced out to go to serve at the homeless shelter instead?

4. It's easy to participate in an anti-abortion protest at the women's clinic. But what's not so easy is adopting that unwanted child. Therefore, what if we offered our love and hope through adoption instead of our judgement through a picket sign?

5. Your outbursts against gay marriage are useless in a country that's already made up its mind. So build up your own marriage instead, never leaving your spouse behind.

The American Church's pending emphasis is all on what we can NOT do instead on what we CAN do. So should it surprise you that mainstream society knows us more for what we are against instead of what we are for?

"The words that express your faith and the works that show your faith should be so intertwined that they are like a pair of legs walking together side by side in such a way that you can scarcely tell one apart from the other." 

WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY LIFE?!/Escalator Theory

You know me. I'm your friendly, neighborhood Spanish/ESL other culture-loving ginger!
Here are some fun facts about what I SAID God WOULD do with my life in high school and in college. In italics, you can see my thoughts now lolololol

1. I was meant to be an elementary school teacher. Then I volunteered at Westside Elementary. I was happy...for about an hour. Scratch that.

2. After a year of being a teen "lawyer" at Teen Court, two years of Mock Trial, and an emotional episode of Law and Order: SVU, I just knew I'd be an attorney who worked with human trafficking cases. Turns out you can't be an attorney and just fight that. And I don't like rhetoric or dumb legal research. It's more fun to pretend to be an attorney. Lame.

3. I would then have a date to my junior prom. :( At least Mom bought me a laptop to make up for no prom dress. Yeah, looking back on the next year at senior prom, I'd take the laptop any day. Prom is dumb.

4. After junior prom was dateless, I vowed that I would work at a Christian bookstore in college, and I'd meet my future husband in the Spanish book section. He'd be Puerto Rican, ginger, and a youth pastor. LOLOLOLOL

5. A young, single youth pastor DID give me his number in my college cafeteria once! Just not a ginger Puerto Rican. And he was a total flirt who never answered my texts. Loser.

6. I couldn't care less about my university choice, so I'd just go to University of North Florida and live with Mama Karen and Papa John till I finished my degree. Yeah no. No. No.

7. Then, I would teach at Baker County High School. That WAS a nice place, but I prefer Tally :)

8. And then I'd go to Latin America as a missionary until God sent me a husband. Kinda cool what God did with that instead!

To my high school pals and troubled other 20-somethings who are pacing and twitching and having reflective chats with your folks about "What am I to do with my life???" never fear, my amigo. Your lack of fear will come from my theory called "The Escalator of Local Mall."

See, on an escalator, you stand...and wait....and if you are a patient chap (har har har for British words!) it will take you where you need to be, one step at a time. But you must wait, nino (har har har for Spanglish!!!)

I sure am NOT an elementary teacher, and last time I checked, my fiancé homeboy is not a ginger puertoriqueno youth pastor. No. Homes is a dark-haired meteorologist.

But am I happy and satisfied, knowing I'm 100% where I need to be?

Oh yes indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 





College Kid to Baby Professional-How Your Life Will Change!

I'm kinda envious right now, kids. I've been Facebook creeping a bunch of you who haven't graduated college yet ...and I'm jealous.

When I was in your shoes just a few months ago, man, I was eager to be DONE. Give me that Bachelor's in Spanish and let me get OUT.

But as a young, first-year teacher, I miss the days when I was surrounded by other young early 20's folk instead of being one of the four teachers at my school under the age of 40. It's hard to make friends just because, well, you aren't surrounded by 40,000 students anymore or 500 clubs to meet people who like the same stuff you like.

Life changes, folks. Lemme tell you how life jumps from being a college kid to a baby professional. And since I'm a Spanish teacher and such...might as well put the headings en espanol.


Amigos. College rocked. Friends that after an international student ministry service event, would drag you to Waffle House at 2 AM as you walk down Tennessee Street, terrified of the very wasted people you see? Or that time they kidnapped you and threw you in Westcot Fountain in February temperatures for your 20th birthday?! And the best part? You could meet these said friends anywhere-campus social events, classes, volunteer shindings, at 12 AM at Breakfast for a Buck, whatevs.

When you graduate, your pals graduate..and move away from you. You get bored and lonely sometimes. Yeah, you cooooulld make new amigos in your workplace...but in the professional world, you don't really associate with co-workers outside of work that much. Yeah. Lamesauce!

Aventuras. When you're in college, you have time for adventures-and long ones at that! It's easy to do so if you're smart about it! When else in my life would I get to serve God as a student missionary in the rural Andes, a children's malnutrition center in Guatemala, serving Latino immigrants in Texas, or as a summer camp counselor??? In college....du'oy!!!!!

Enjoy this time. Cuz when you graduate, you'll have a full-time job to worry about, a family, and other big kid responsibilities. God is awesome and I know that He'll totes take me to other cool places! But...your choices get waay more limited.

Pasion. Now's the time to figure out your passion! Join a club. Go off somewhere cool for a summer. You'll find out what you're passionate about. For me, I volunteered to teach ESL at FSU for three semesters, which showed me how much I cared about helping people learn English and adapt to life in this country. I led an international student ministry for two years, which showed me that I had a burden for people who were new to the US adjust to life here and have a better life for themselves and their families. I worked for a foreign language lab for a semester, which showed me that I nerd out over teaching Spanish.

Yeah, find out your passions in college. Cuz afterword..well..it's kinda too late.

And this blog could probably use a better way to end, but it's 10 PM and I'm a working professional, not a college kid anymore. So it's too late. I gotta go.

 

 

 



                                                   

 

 

Hello, My Name is Goose Goose

A random responsibility I have at my school is to babysit the pre-school kiddos while their teachers get a well-deserved lunch break during the school's lunch hour! I love these little darlings-other than my middle schoolers, they are my favorite age group to teach.

They have also made me think quite philosophically.

One day as I was attempting to eat my salad while cleaning up boo-boo's, spilled apples, and other daily adventures, two giggling girls look at me and squeal  the following nugget of wisdom:

"YOU  ARE GOOSE GOOSE!" Say what?

"What is goose goose?" I question their idea.

"YOU!" they retort as one of them almost knocked over her chocolate milk due to her amusement.

"Um, friends, last time I checked they call me Ms. Caroline," I replied in a goofy voice.

"You're not Ms. Caroline! You're Ms. Goose Goose!!!!" And so the search for my identity begins.

                                                                                  *****
School was out for the day, and that meant I could finaaaallly check Facebook when I got home to my apartment-I'm kinda an addict. I posted what I THOUGHT was a witty status. Like away, folks!

But it wasn't. No one liked my status-except for the people like your mom who are SUPPOSED to.. I felt like an unpopular loser and shamefully took my status down. Hmph.

Why did this matter so much to me? It's Facebook, for crying aloud.

I guess it's more than that for me. It tells me who and how many people like me in my mind-based on who likes my stuff. And I guess how many people like me can easily affect how much I like ME each day.

But that's not the only thing I do. I list EVERY job or internship I've ever had up there, thinking maybe that I'm somehow more valuable if I can tell you about the two jobs I have right now as a Spanish/ESL teacher or that you'll think I'm well-traveled and a good Christ follower because of my student missionary terms in Peru, Guatemala and Texas or my summer camp stunt my junior year of high school.

I hope that the fact that I have 1,064 Facebook friends makes up for the month I sat alone at lunch my freshman year of high school or better about people I've felt rejected by.

And I worry that if I don't get tagged in at least one picture every week, people will think I'm boring.

Since different people and amounts of people like my stuff, I guess if I'm not careful how much I like myself changes to match that......

                                                                             ****
Sure enough, my name has changed. Good thing "Goose Goose" was not how I defined myself, because I am now "Mister." Mister? Really?! I asked 'em why I'm "Mister" and they said it's "because you are a boy." Great, do I look like a boy?!

(We had a talk about how that wasn't always a nice thing to tell someone before one of them spilled applesauce all over the table.....)

But once again, the pre-schoolers have a lot of wisdom without meaning to. You see, what people will call you will constantly change. Last week I was Goose Goose, now they call me "Mister." If I define my identity by what people may call me, it will change every week.

I need an unchangeable identity.

My name isn't Goose Goose. And it sure ain't Mister. My identity is this: I belong to God and I'm saved by His grace. Cuz that will never change, no mister, not evah. And it sure doesn't depend on Facebook likes.

 

FLYING GOOSE GOOSE GINGER!!!!!!!

A New Era

C.S. Lewis was a wise old feller.

One thing this dude said that I find myself falling more in love with as I encounter the cray crayness of daily living is that "I don’t think age matters so much as people think. Parts of me are still 12 and I think other parts were already 50 when I was 12."

We don't age with time, but experiences age us.

It's crazy how the past three weeks seem to have transformed me from college kid caterpillar to giant-grown up teacher gal, and yet I haven't even gotten older-I'm still just a baby at 21. Ya see, I have:

1. Graduated from FSU. I shook Eric Barron's hand and everything!

2. Succeeded at two weeks now in the "real" working world as a Spanish teacher at a private school.

3.  Moved into apartment number three (during the first week of my first year teaching!!)

Just three weeks have gone by, and now I'm in a completely different stage of life. And these big life changes are still coming strong.

It's really hard for my brain to understand what's happening to me. I'm not a student taking classes and going home at the end of the day, but I teach classes and go home to plan them. My colleagues are not fellow 20-something year olds but instead are all old enough to be my parents. Calling co-workers by their first name instead of "Dr. So and So", getting called "Ma'am" instead of "Hey, Ginger!" by my students, yeah, these things all freak me out.

I might be a young 21-year old. But the truth is, these last few weeks have changed me from a college kid whose biggest concern was writing a decent paper to a working professional and FSU alumnus making a living and planning a future.

Years doesn't define an age, but experiences done in time does. And all I know is, my age has grown a lot these past three weeks.

In fact, it's kind of creepy.

Just like Jessie, My Granny

Mom's mom, Granny, was my second mom. I made my second mama a promise on her deathbed that has rung in my head ever since:

"Granny, I'm going to be like you. I'm going to go to South America and do missions or teach like you for a semester or a year. Then, I'm going to be like you and teach, but instead of teaching first grade like you I'm going to teach Spanish. I can only hope I can be as great as Mrs. Lucas was."

Her tired face that breathed death shined a glimpse of life and joy once more. "Do it," she said quietly. "You'll love it," she added in a slightly stronger voice.

I wanted to do those things..but more. When cancer took the life of that powerful woman of God almost three years ago, I decided to be just like Jessie Lucas, my granny, in every way I can.


                                                                   
You see, Granny spent a year teaching abroad in South America. It was the most memorable year of her life.

 I wanted to be just like Jessie. After her death, I found myself signing up for two summers in Latin America-one summer in the rural Andes of Peru sharing the Gospel through teaching English at the village school and helping shepherds with their flocks and the next summer working at a malnutrition center through Florida Baptist Children's Homes in indigenous Guatemala.

I did that to make my Savior proud, but I knew Granny was proud, too-I was just like Jessie.
                 
                                                                  

After she traveled, she taught at a prestigious school for the children of Clemson University's professors. It was odd for the daughter of poor cotton sharecroppers to do that, but God gave her an opportunity bigger than what she was capable of doing alone.

This next part is a God thing, because I don't think it's common for good schools to list their job openings on Craigslist. But when I saw a private school in Tallahassee looking to hire a Spanish teacher, I figured it wouldn't hurt to send in my resume and teaching philosophy. Next thing I know I'm in love with this "private school with a public mission" and I'm signing a contract with them instead of with two other public schools that I always thought I would have chosen.

It looks like I made the right choice, because it turns out this fall I will be teaching the children of some of my old professors at FSU. In fact, most students here have FSU faculty as Mom and Dad. And I (through God giving me opportunities bigger than what I am capable of) am here.

Just like Jessie.

                                                                    ****

But Jessie wasn't Jessie without Clyde, or at least his memory by her side. Granny's other half died the day after my sister was born. But Granny spoke about Papa with such a fondness that I felt like I knew him.

Granny and Papa met in their early 20's at church, and I met Andy when we were in our early 20's, too. But we weren't at church-we both got drug along by some mutual friends in our campus ministry to play a Frisbee game out on Landis Green.

And if I remember right, Granny and Papa talked even more one night after a hymn sing. Well, Andy and I don't do hymn sings, but we did like to throw people in Westcot Fountain on their birthdays. That night when we first noticed each other nearly two years ago, we were doing just that to our friend Ryan. And everyone around me that night seemed to fade away except for Andy.

"When you meet the one the Lord wants you to marry, you spend time around others and you think 'I don't need them in the way that I need Clyde.' But more than that, the Lord will tell you. He'll tell you if you should marry him and He'll bring other people in your life who think the same,"' Granny told me five years ago when we were talking about a guy I wanted to date.

When I think and pray about Andy, I feel just like Jessie described.




"You never know God's plans, not even for tomorrow," Granny warned me once. So I say this with the limited prediction that I can, though that shouldn't limit what I feel when I say this.

When I went to Guatemala, I gave to these girls in their lives. I planted seeds through my love, discipline and service. Towards the end of the summer, God watered these seeds..and I saw fruit- a change-come in their lives as a result. But I want to check and see how God is watering those seeds in their lives. Plus, the girls I served in Guatemala begged me the day I left that I would come back to visit them, and when I did come back, I'd come back with Andy.

Andy and I have prayed about it, and returning to Guatemala during Christmas is something we want to do. But as graduate students on limited salaries as a teacher and research assistant, traveling would mean cutting back somewhere in our budgets. Yet we know that such things are worth any sacrifices we have to make to love God and love the people that He has made accordingly.

And then I see that to make this trip happen, I could not just be like Jessie, but look like her, too. At least, my left ring finger could. If God continues to lead Andy and I towards marriage, a ring would be a huge expense. If I wore Granny's ring instead, we could afford to visit those kids in Guatemala.

Andy pointed out that there are other ways we could cut back financially. But using the ring that Clyde gave to Jessie so many years ago would not only bear more fruit of a gift of love that was once given, but it would remind me to be just like Jessie.

Granny would never would have wanted to be remembered for just being a traveler, great teacher, or Clyde's better half. Her legacy is none other than how sacrifice rooted in love bears fruit.

And by wearing her ring to go to Guatemala again, I'll be just like Jessie.





















                                                                     

God's Latest Chapter and Spidey Powers!

I've been watching Netflix lately with the team. Guatemalan Netflix gives you more options than 'merican Netflix does. My only complaint is that they don't have Spider-Man!!





I like Mr. Spidey. I feel like Spidey a lot cuz I'm a loser but then when God came into my life when I was 14 (much like getting bit by that cray cray spider) I became a new creation, and with that came these huge changes in my life. When I was 17, all I knew was that God loved me and He wanted my life to be about telling others about His love, so I gave my life to missions.

I didn't know about how or where or what He'd send me doing, but I set off on a bunch of adventures to find out. Cuz with great power comes great responsibility....right???  Lately I've been reflecting on these adventures and how they've sent me on the road I think I'm heading.

First there was Camp Crestridge for Girls! Because of experiences I had with insecurities and self-esteem as a teenager before I gave my life to Christ, I wanted to help other girls with the same issues in Summer 2009!




But after I left camp that summer, I felt God telling me that He wanted me to major in Spanish and devote my life to working with Hispanic immigrants. In the meantime, He would develop my Spanish by doing mission work overseas until He called me home. So when I was 18, I was a summer missionary intern at Mission Centers of Houston, an inner-city mission that mostly serves Latino immigrant families in inner-city Houston. This taught me my love of immigrant ministry and teaching English as a Second Language.



When I was 20 I knew that God wanted me to use my love and gift of Spanish in South America to share the Gospel. So I spent Summer 2012 working with the indigenous Quechua people of Peru, living in a rustic village called San Jose de Quero. Through helping these indigenous shepherds in their fields, teaching English in the tiny village school, and Bible study, I built Christ-sharing relationships with the people there.

     

For the past two years, I've been involved as a leader in the Friends of Internationals ministry and through teaching conversational English at FSU. The purpose of both of these things has been to help international students and their families to adjust to life in a new culture and language. By making some of my best friends and having some of my most educational experiences here, I've seen how God has called me to do immigrant/international student ministry with my life.




Finally, this past summer I've been interning at a malnutrition center in indigenous Guatemala through Orphan's Heart (Florida Baptist Children's Homes). Seeing the conditions many underprivileged Guatemalans live in help me understand why many choose to immigrate to the United States..and how my loves of foreign language, ESL and hospitality can welcome these people and can show them the love of Christ.






I tell you this because a lot of people have been asking me "So are you going to the mission field next?" "Are you going overseas after you graduate this summer?" "You're definitely called to ministry!" and I feel the need to explain where I think God's next step is in my life.

First of all, I don't see myself overseas as a career missionary. To be a missionary is a lot more than liking a one week trip to the Ukraine. To be a missionary means the Gospel is the ONLY thing that sustains you. To be a missionary means you have a sense of church planting and effective witnessing. The only thing that satisfies you is knowing how you are bringing people to the Lord. To be a missionary is a very special calling.

Instead, I see God telling me that there are people from all over the world coming to my beloved homeland-the United States of America. People come to study, they come for better opportunities, they come for safety, they come for religious freedom-and they exchange their beloved homeland to be dubbed as a stranger to all. They speak a strange language-English-that makes communication a struggle every day. They are confused by our materialistic culture. These immigrants leave all they know and love behind for a better life. What better person to help these searching people out than an American?

Fear and embarrassment often drives the Christians away from these people who need friendship the most. People who love cross-cultural situations often overlook these people because you don't have the adventure of leaving the States to do this ministry. Because I love other cultures/languages, meeting new people, and mentoring people, I believe this is the ministry God has placed me in.

Currently my plan is to teach Spanish for the next two years as I get my Master's from FSU in Foreign/Second Language Teaching. From that point on, I hope to teach ESL in schools, non-profits and church ministries or to even lead a Christian ministry that helps immigrants and refugees adjust to life in the States. I will always love traveling and missions and God might even take me back overseas for a season of my life.




I know that the task that God has put ahead of me requires a lot of responsibility..but He gives me the power to do it yay! So Spidey Powers...away! Or something like dat!!

Guatemala Week 2-Brave?

I'm a ginger. I'm brave. Naturally, I look something like this.....

...NOT! This is what I really look like, particularly when I am hiking or doing something nasty involving bugs or snakes or that's really scary and dumb!

See, I have the tendency to forget which ginger I truly am. I sometimes think that I'm that awesome chick from Brave and then I get myself into a bigger situation than I can handle and then I run away crying like I did in the picture when we went hiking through the mosquito filled jungle. I get cocky. I get arrogant. And then I run away.

Because this week I've seen how small and silly I am. I'm the Spanish teacher in the group after all, but I accidentally translated that one of the babies escaped from their cribs instead of saying the baby just broke their crib. I'm weak. I often require water and potty breaks.  I'm overly emotional-I've cried three times in two weeks in front of the other workers for no good reason whatsoever.

My weaknesses make me want to hide from the world, like a turtle in its shell, and be safe from mistakes or awkward situations. But God has called me to love Him and to love the people He has made and died for.

Loving people the way God calls us to means getting out of our comfort zone and knowing that we're not perfect, but somehow God uses us anyway. And the best part? When we still do awesome things despite our stupidity, God get the credit for it cuz no one that lame like me could do these things anyway. So knowing that God gets the glory no matter what mistakes I make or how lame I might be makes me want to be brave.

Yay for a brave ginger!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqSs39C3LN8

Guatemala-David and Goliath

So if you read my last post, I promised you at the end I'd tell you a cooler story about how I saw God work through the classic biblical story of David and Goliath in the life of one of my girls this week..which is even cooler than Junior Asparagus as Dave! Can you say waaaaa???

Every night before the girls go to bed, we hang. We do stupid things. Two days ago we did the salsa. Yesterday we played an INTENSE version of Simon Says. Today we merely just took stupid pictures together like this.....

On Tuesday, I was just chilling and talking to the girls about life when randomly one of them asked me to tell them a Bible story. So cool. I told them the story of David and Goliath and added that "When we're small and we have to do something that we're too small to do, God gives us the strength to do it."

One of my girls, who's 5, started to tear up. "Do you have a mom?" she said.

"I do," I answered.

"And a dad?" she said.

"Yep," I said cautiously.

"You know something? My mom died two years ago. When my mom died, my dad abandoned me. He doesn't love me, so he sent me to live with my grandma. But so many kids live with her [that she couldn't feed us well and so I got sick from not eating] and she sent me here." I blinked back tears. This girl is only 5!

"Do you miss your mom?" I asked her.

"I do, so much," the little girl said, about to cry. "And my grandma lives so far away she doesn't visit me. But my godfather does. And I miss my mom very, very much."

"My friend died, too this year," I told her about my childhood friend and beloved classmate Brooke Rhoden. "But you know something, mi amor?"

"What?"

"When there's something we're too small to fight like David, God gives us the strength we need to fight our Goliaths. When you miss your mom, God will help you do what you can't do alone."

And the little girl smiled :) 

It's amazing how God just brought up a random story for this little girl who needed it the most! And if you feel like David trying to fight your Goliaths with just a measly pair of stones, remember that how small you are isn't important, but how big God is :) Doesn't that make you want to smile?!

Guatemala Week 1-With His help little guys can do big things, too!

Well kids, I'm about to wrap up my first week here in Guatemala! My kids call me "Seno Carolina"-which means Miss Caroline in English. They call all of the nannies that..so it looks like I've been upgraded from random gringa to nannyish kind of status. I better after the craziness these girls brought into my life today!!!!!!!! :D I was attempting to do the salsa with them here tehehe

And they are ALWAYS insisting that I push them harder on the swings! One of them even wrote a song about it. Ay yo........................

But even so, I love these girls like crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet despite all of the fun that I've had, there have been so many times the past week that I've felt inadequate to do what God wants me to do here. Unlike most of the other interns, I had never been to the center before. I love children, but I have to work with a group of girls ranging from ages 3-10! There have been times when I have felt homesick, too. And while I speak Spanish fluently (I'm a Spanish teacher yo!) I make STUPID mistakes constantly, like saying "load" instead of "pregnancy" when I was translating for a doctor or saying "pepper" instead of "peanut."

But as I was watching Veggies Tales with some of the kids today, we watched Dave and the Giant Pickle (David and Goliath) episode. Junior Asparagus, who plays Dave/David, tells Archibald (King Saul) that with God's help, he can fight Goliath! He says (in the English version) about Goliath:

"He's big! But God's bigger!

And when I think of him, that's what I figure!

With His help, little guys can do big things, too!

With His help, I know that I can do big things, too!"

I can't do any of these big things. But God is bigger than them, and with His help I know that I can do big things, too!

Tomorrow I'll tell you an even cooler story about how God used David and Goliath in the life of one of my girls this week! But for now, it is time for a semi-hot shower and bedtime :) 

Guatemala 2013 Days 3 and 4-Compassion followed by Action

"I will go,
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, to the lost, to the poor and hungry
Take everything I have, I'm clay within Your hands
I will go, I will go, send me."-Starfield, "I Will Go."

Today has been one of the most physically, emotionally and mentally draining days of my life. I cared for 30 screaming 3-5 year olds for twelve hours. I translated also during that time in the midst of 92 laughing, crying,  chattering children. I burst out into tears as I saw some of the physical conditions that these malnourished children are in. I was broken.

And for me, this is life for the next five weeks. For the full-time workers, this IS there life.

But as a Christ follower, this is what we are called to do.

I'd say most of us have COMPASSION on the 92 malnourished children that live at the center and would consider its full-time workers to be heroes. But our compassion and admiration is useless unless it is followed by action and assistance. Compassion doesn't feed a starving child, but action does.

These past few days I've been completely encouraged by the other interns, volunteers and full-time staff workers who also believe that compassion without action will get you nowhere. Just like in a body you have so many different parts with different strengths that come together to do the same purpose in different ways.

I'm blown away by how I see this in the lives of our team. Howie, our director has an amazing sense of administration. Keith and Morgan are studying to be doctors and can help us medically with the needs of the children. Taylor, an aspiring social worker can encourage us when we're all feeling emotionally drained and continues to make us passionate about what we do. Megan, Brandy,  Lauren, Danielle, and Jessica are all elementary ed/kid related majors, and heaven knows we need someone to help entertain our babies! Art is retired and uses his gift of cooking and time sacrificially to feed us yummy things after a long day's work. And then you have me-the Spanish nerd-as I help with the language barrier.

So ready for what God does next!

Guatemala Days 1 and 2-Lions and Otters and Beavers and Golden Retrievers!

I'm on an adventure with a pack full of 18-20 something year olds to serve malnourished children in Guatemala this summer with this amazing Christian non-profit called Orphan's Heart. It rocks. And we interns, we rock. And starting now as my roommate Brandy is muttering in her sleep (bahahaha love you girl!), I'm determined to tell you all about what God does through me here.

On Friday, Andy and I chilled at the airport a bit before he dropped me off. He always HATES having his picture taken!!!

After I landed in Miami where we would begin our training before leaving for Guatemala on Sunday, I decided to indulge in my guilty pleasure of Spanish TV (Univision) while I chilled in the hotel . I kinda love El Gordo y La Flaca, okay?? Yes, I'm a weirdo. Anyways, for the rest of the night as my teammates arrived, we ate dinner at Chipotle and then started our first session of training at the Orphan's Heart/Florida Baptist Children's Homes Miami Campus!

Training began again early this morning at 8:30 and lasted all the way until 3. Then we stuffed packages for Howie (our director around these parts!) until 6. We were packaging BEASTS.

     


However, Howie didn't realize that he was putting me, Miss Clumsy, in charge of printing stamps for the packages. I may have messed up once..or twice..heh...sorry, Howie!!!!

Finally, we ended the day by eating at a DELICIOUS Cuban restaruant. The inner Spanish teacher in me has always dreamed of eating Cuban food in Miami. Yes, I am a SUPER dork, but dreams do come true!!! Here is my picadillo...mmmhhhhhh



So it's past midnight and I have a flight to catch to Guatemala tomorrow, yet I can't sleep because I'm thinking about the bunch God has placed together. We did this personality test thing where you're either a lion (a direct, outspoken leader), an otter (fun loving optimist), a beaver (an organized intellectual) or a golden retriever (a loyal friend)...and we have some of each. Such different people are crammed together for like 40 days and 40 nights or something like that. Ay yo. Sounds to me like Noah's arc!!!!

But I know that all of us have special and unique gifts that will allow us to serve these children in need this summer in a powerful way. We have future elementary ed teachers in our bunch, we have aspiring social workers, we have a doctor to be, and we have a Spanish/ESL teacher, too (that would be me!) All and all, I'm stoked to see how God will use us.

!Guatemala, por alla vamos!

Adventures in Love: Men, Make the First Move!

Andy and I are totally in love. We've been dating since February 2012 and well, everyday is better than the last. I've waited a long time for a love that like that :) But I may have totally missed out on one of the best things that ever happened to me if he didn't randomly send me this Facebook message one day: 

A first move is crucial for any love story to come true. The prince must pursue the fair maiden!!!!! But for all of us to live happily ever after, the guys and gals must remember a few things first.

1. Guys, be a man and pursue the girl you're interested in. You were meant to pursue. It's your nature. You were meant to hunt, to chase. In cavemen days your kind chased and killed the wildabeast for your wife's stew. It was your test of manliness. Now you shouldn't kill a nasty rodent for supper, but you need to grow a pair and flirt with the girl you like.

I say this with caution. Don't stalk her. Don't IM her on Facebook four times a day. Don't propose on the spot. But flirt. Yes, flirt, I know you know how to do it. Be where she is. Laugh extra hard at her jokes. SEND HER A RANDOM FACEBOOK MESSAGE. Talk to her, and if it goes well and she seems to respond, ask her out. 

Know why? Cuz I see too many guys doing one of two things-either thinking that it's the 21st century and a girl should be the one asking a guy out or 2. being too wimpy and whiny in their manhood to grow some and then the girl of their dreams gets whisked away by a dude who was secure in his manhood and had the guts to ask her out. 

If you ask her on a date, PAY for everything. Make it natural. Treat her like a princess. If you call her the next day and she wants to talk, good sign! But if she says she isn't interested or doesn't respond to your texts, be a man and MOVE ON. Don't pout. Don't stalk her. Don't pretend that it wasn't a date and she was stupid for calling it one. 

You're a man. Now use that manliness and stop being a sissy.

2. Ladies, give a guy a break. Oh my heavens, please stop holding guys to expectations that we ourselves wouldn't want to be held to. If you want a guy to accept that you aren't a tiny, skinny, beautiful 34 D cup blonde then don't reject him if he's not a huge, buff Leonardo Dicaprio look alike.

Now, don't give him too much of a break. Have standards, but make sure you could meet those same standards. As far as pursuing goes, let him know you're interested. Once again, SEND HIM A RANDOM FACEBOOK MESSAGE! But don't ask him out. Oh, sure guys like that. But they like a chase or they get bored. Let him pursue or don't expect it to last long.

3. If he doesn't ask you out, either he's not that into you or he's too sissy to ask you out, so he isn't for you. If she makes up excuses when you ask her on a date, she's just not that into you. 

Girls are the queens of excuses. They make us feel better emotionally:

"Oh he hasn't asked me out because his stupid ex-gf broke his heart and now he's taking it slow."

"He likes me, he's just shy."

"I know one of these days he'll wake up and see that he belongs with me."

"I just need to flirt harder."

"I should lose five pounds and wear more make-up and some better flats tomorrow. Then he will be mine."

Look, he doesn't like you and so he won't ask you out...OR he does but he's too insecure to ask you out. Either way, your crush isn't the guy for you.

Dudes....hahahahahaha this is what I hear from y'all....

"If I just pursue her harder and tell her how beautiful and wonderful she is, I can woo her."

"I think she's really busy with her studies right now, that's why she doesn't want to have coffee!"

"I know her dad is just really strict, that's why she won't go to prom with me."

Girls are emotional creatures. For the most part, it breaks our heart to break your heart. So if we don't like you, we'll come up with excuses. Mine have included:

"Oh, um my dad doesn't know you so he said no to prom. I'm sorry."

"Oh, well I'm moving to Tallahassee so I don't think we should do long distance dating. Sorry."

You get the picture. If a girl likes you, she WILL say yes..and call all of her friends about the date. If not, it's rare she'll actually come out and just say "no."

We're One Out of Five

I just read an article on NBC News that says that 1 out of 5 women have been sexually assaulted, and that number troubles me because I'm 1 out of 5 women. I've been sexually assaulted by a classmate. I absolutely hate talking about what Paul did to me that night, but other women who have or could be victims need to know my story.

Paul and I both had French class together, and one day after he asked me for help with a tricky French assignment on the computer he gave me his number. I honestly didn't think anything about it at the time since I'd often give my number out to classmates for classwork help, but in hindsight I should have then.

The night everything happened, I had invited all of my classmates for a study session at Starbucks for our test the next day. Paul was the only one who showed up. After a few minutes of studying we realized we needed my laptop for the study guide, and since it was at my apartment, we went back to my apartment to study. Once again, this was a warning sign..but I figured since my sister/roommate and her boyfriend were there nothing bad could happen. 

We stayed in the kitchen with Melissa and Jacob nearby and worked on tackling French for about an hour. After we finished, Paul said playfully "Give me a tour of your apartment!" I laughed and quickly showed him everything, then tried to usher him out the door so I could get some sleep! But for some reason he went into my bedroom and plopped on the bed. "I could stay here alllll night..this is comfy!!" (Yep, that was ANOTHER warning sign right there. Yet in the moment, there are so many little things you won't see until looking back.) I followed him in there and had a brief conversation of small talk with him with the door wide open so Melissa and Jacob could hear and see everything. Then he started teasing me and poking me with his foot. I giggled. Being a university soccer player, he was well-built and handsome. Maybe he liked me? But either way, I knew he wasn't the type of guy I wanted to date, plus it was late and I wanted to get to bed. I started to get up and he did, too, but he got up..to close the door shut tightly.

I started to sense what he wanted then, but I froze. I was so scared. Nothing like this had ever happened to be before. I didn't know what to do. Think, Caroline, think! At that point he started grabbing my legs, then my waist. A bunch of sensations went through my body. He is really handsome..maybe I am missing out on something by being a good girl after all. I didn't stop him right away because I didn't know what to do. But then I knew in my heart that I had to get away. Run away from sexual immorality, for it is a sin against the heart and the body. I started shaking and pushing his arms off of my body.

Paul started laughing. "Don't think you can push me off. I'm stronger than you" and he shoved my arms away like that. By that point, he was grabbing my breasts and I started shaking uncontrollably. 

"I've got you," he said, and was gently pushing my body against the bed. He started to press his body into mine. I couldn't take it anymore. I HAD to get away. I would say something, and if he didn't let me go, I'd scream. Run away from sexual immorality. 

"Stop. I am really, really uncomfortable with this," I quivered, pulling myself up and staring at Paul. He breathed loudly and said, "All right. That's all you have to tell me." I then told him he had to leave, and so he left.

I was a mess that night, a huge mess. I could have been raped. Even though the worst that happened was that he inappropriately touched me, I was incredibly terrified. That night Melissa, Jacob and I stayed up late for hours crying. I called my friend Matt, who came rushing to the rescue to help me. A few days later another friend of mine Ellen and I went out for lunch to talk about this terrifying event, and then I confided in my friend Emily as well over coffee. You guys are all the best for helping me get through that night.

I thought briefly about calling the police and pressing charges against Paul, but I knew that sexual assault would be difficult to prove. Yet I did have to sit through French class with him for the rest of that semester, and it was one of the worst things in my life. Every time I saw a man who looked like him on campus I felt the same fear come back again.

Ladies, be careful. ALWAYS be on your guard and never trust anyone. There were plenty of warning signs that night that I didn't see just because I let my guard down and was too trusting. If you are in that situation, think quickly and RUN AWAY. Make it clear that this is not what you want, and if he doesn't respond get out. If you have been assaulted, never think it's your fault! You did absolutely nothing wrong. However, you must forgive who took advantage of you, because otherwise you'll be haunted by him forever. Sadly, you and I aren't alone-we are one of five of every women who this has happened to. Yet we must tell our story so that this doesn't happen to the other four women.