I've noticed a pattern as to why people leave church- people were either not loved at church, received too much human love, and somehow in the process never searched and saw the unforgettable love God brings.

1. Not loved at church

I knew this kid at youth group who tried to be Mr. Cool. He'd dance around at church during worship, would try to make jokes in the sermon like the cool kids did, and would stalk the high school leaders. But it was clear that the church goers were too focused on being "cool" and loving the loveable that they forget about the people who need to be loved the most. That kid became addicted to drugs and happily condemns all things related to religion. Given his experience, why would he do otherwise?

What about my friend who was popular at church until he came out as gay? People gossiped and threw their stones at him. He's nowhere to be found at church now. Who can blame him when sinners ignore their sin and point at sin that they don't understand?

I had another friend who was openly agnostic in a conservative town. The day he dared to step into a Pentecostal church, he became everyone's new evangelical project rather than potential pal. And that is why he never came back.

2. Too much love

I was involved in this awesome ministry once where everyone adored this one particular guy to the point where I don't think he was part of the ministry to share God's love as it much that it was others loved him there. Last I heard, he was wild and partying, and beyond the beers living a lifestyle that mocked his former one.

But it's not just other's praise, but praise of ourselves. I once knew an adult who, with good intentions, became so soaked up in everyone's praise that she praised herself to the point where it drove others away from church. "I don't want to go to a Bible study where this person has practically self-proclaimed themselves to be the God of their Bible" friends told me.